By Loren W. Christensen

This article appeared in The Marksman magazine. You can find much more on the subject of officer-involved shootings in the best selling book Deadly Force Encounters: What Officers Need to Know to Mentally and Physically Prepare for and Survive a Gunfight
 
 

    In the last few years, police agencies across the country have developed programs and procedures to help officers involved in shootings survive the often tumultuous aftermath. Many who have used deadly force say that the aftermath - the media frenzy, grand jury, department scrutiny, public criticism, psychological trauma and the inevitable law suit were more traumatic than the actual shooting.

    Statistics show that about one third of the officers involved in deadly force incidents are able to return to work without experiencing problems from their shootings. The majority, however, need assistance to some degree from a mental health worker, departmental debriefing, peer support group, their church, or some other source to help them return to normal after the trauma of being forced to take another person’s life.

    All too often, however, the officer’s family is not considered. They get lost in all the turmoil surrounding the shooter (s). But they are not lost to the fear and shock of knowing their loved one has experienced a life-threatening event. One officer said this about how his shooting effected his wife.

   “Several years ago, my partner and I shot it out with a holdup man. My partner was shot in the face and nearly died. This was years before our agency got sensitive to officers involved in traumatic incidents, and their families. I remember when I got home my wife acted pretty strange, like she didn't know what to do. She treated me like I was sick: waiting on me hand and foot.

    “Two days later when I had to go back to work, I could see that she was anxious throughout the day. When I gave her a goodbye kiss, she wouldn't let go of me. I pried her loose and headed for the door, but she latched onto my arm and held on tight. I kept telling her I would be all right and that the shooting was a rare occurrence, but she just wouldn't let go. She clung to me as I worked my way out to the driveway and I had to pry her loose so I could get into the car.

    “I still remember how she looked as I drove away: scared and alone.”

    As with officers, each family and each family member will respond differently after a shooting. The response will depend on each individual, the family dynamics, the education and preparation the family gets before the incident, and the support they get afterward. Some will bounce back quickly and be relatively unaffected, while others may be devastated.

    Since family members can develop post-traumatic stress disorder, they should be educated about trauma reactions by the agency, have access to debriefings, receive counseling, and be involved in the agency's family-trauma peer support teams.

    The love and empathy that family members feel for each other can be a strength and a liability after a deadly force encounter. While there is no question that officers and their significant others can benefit by talking about the event and their feelings about it, it's important to understand that there may be times they will be more willing to talk to others outside the family. This is normal and doesn't necessarily suggest rejection or lack of trust.

    Officers may be reluctant to discuss the gory details of an event and their reaction to it for fear of increasing their family's anxiety level even more. Members of the family may be reluctant to discuss their anxieties with the officer for the same reason. Therefore, both the officers and family members  may hold back some of their feelings to protect each other. This can be a double-edged sword because it might cause the others to feel left out or ignored.

    Officers often feel most comfortable talking to other officers who have also been involved in a deadly force encounter. Family members may be most comfortable talking to other police family members who have been through a similar event. This is why peer-support teams for officers and family members are a valuable resource to many people who have been through a traumatic event.

     As with everything else, it's important for family members to respect individual differences in how each person copes with traumatic events. Suzanne’s husband has been involved in five SWAT shootings. She is a lively, enthusiastic woman who freely expresses her emotions, while her husband is known for his reserved and laconic demeanor. She talked about their differences.

    "Mike is a very calm, grounded person who is not emotional and talkative like I am. Even so, I worried that he seemed so unaffected by his shootings. The only time I saw him get upset was when someone in the media called him ‘Terminator.’ He was afraid of how our daughter would be affected if she ever heard that. Fortunately, she was only three-years-old then and we could keep that publicity away from her.

     "At one point I consulted a psychologist to ask if Mike’s lack of reaction to his shootings was normal. I worried he might be stuffing it all and having it eat away at him. The psychologist said that since he has always been a calm, non-talkative person, it was possible he was taking it all in stride and encouraged me to not worry unless I noticed negative changes in his behavior.

    "Mike was acting just like he always had, so I stopped worrying. At one point I asked him if he knew why the shootings hadn't bothered him. After thinking about it for a day he said that since all his shootings had been SWAT shootings, he'd always had time to mentally prepare for something bad happening. This took away the shock factor for him. He thought it might be different if any of them had happened suddenly and unexpectedly when he was on regular patrol. He promised he would tell me if they ever started to bother him.

     "Unlike Mike, it’s really important for me to talk to others about my feelings. The support of my women friends, some of whose husbands have also been in shootings, has been invaluable. They're glad to listen to me rattle on about it in a way that would be hard for Mike to do."

    Officer Mills found this experience after her shooting.

    "I was one of several officers involved in a running gun battle with an armed robber. Afterwards, my agency took good care of us with debriefings, counseling, and time off. Once the grand jury was over, I was fine and it hasn’t bothered me much since. But it was a different story for my mother. She was never fond of me becoming a cop, and one time asked, 'Why can’t you get a real job like your sister?' I told her, 'Mom, this is about as real as it gets!'

   "After the shooting, she became more fearful for my safety, sometimes to the point of tears. My sister, whose “real job” is a secretary, said that to this day whenever her phone rings she has some anxiety that it might be someone telling her that I’ve been shot and killed.

   "In spite of their fears, they know I love being a cop and they support me as best they can. After the shooting, the family-trauma team contacted my mother and she found it very helpful."

 CHILDREN'S REACTIONS

    Children can be affected to different degrees. Suzanne’s children have also weathered their father’s five SWAT shootings, but she was surprised when her ten-year-old daughter showed the first sign of being affected.

    Suzanne said, "Our children have done well through all of Mike’s shootings. But it was the shooting of another SWAT officer that wound up creating anxiety for our daughter. For six months after that, our daughter insisted on sleeping on the couch every night because it was closer to our bedroom and she could be closer to Mike. The officer who was shot said that some of the children of the other SWAT members were also showing anxiety and he felt bad about it even though he knew it wasn’t his fault."

    Police families sometimes wonder how much to tell their children. This depends on their age, maturity, and temperament, but a good rule of thumb is to tell them the facts in a calm, neutral, reassuring manner, then ask if they have questions. Children will often let you know how much they need to know by their questions. Keep the lines of communication open and look for any changes in their behavior. Counseling is always an option if significant problems develop down the road.

 PREPARING FAMILY MEMBERS

    How can family members cope with the stress of these traumatic events? While each family will have its own unique style, here are suggestions that will work for most.

 * Prepare ahead of time. Make a plan as to what each person will do, such as

- Who will notify family and friends
- Who will go to be with the officer and who will wait at home
- Who will look after the children
- How other friends and family members will be notified

 * To minimize uncomfortable surprises, the family should be familiar with all that may happen after a shooting.

- The media’s response
- Criminal investigations
- Grand juries
- Civil litigation

 * If it's desired, everyone in the family should have access to a debriefing and counseling with  mental health professionals.

 * Seek out your agency’s family-peer support team.

 * Allow for differences in how family members cope. For example, one person may cherish personal privacy and feel threatened if another member needs to talk about the event with others outside the family. Try to allow for everyone’s needs to be reasonably met with a respectful compromise.

 * Open communication is always helpful to families, both within and outside the family.

 FAMILY SUPPORT TEAMS

 Family-trauma support teams are a valuable resource. However, it may be harder to gain acceptance for a family-support team within the agency than it is for officer teams. The following tips have worked in many police agencies.

 * Team members who are also officers can help the team negotiate agency policies and politics.

 * Try to get the support of an insider who has influence.

 * Advocate for and volunteer to help with in-service training about family trauma issues.

 * Be clear about your purpose and express that to others.

 * Since family members are more likely to be isolated from each other than officers are, you may have to make that extra effort to reach out to help them overcome this isolation.

 * All “significant others” should be invited to participate in the teams’ support activities. This would include men and women, spouses, parents, siblings, gay partners, close friends, cousins, and so on.

 * Those officers who are protective of family members and try to keep their work separate from their home life, may feel intruded upon if others try to contact their family members. Tact, respect, and sensitivity are needed to avoid having those officers feel like you are interfering with their families.

 LINE OF DUTY DEATHS

    Most agencies do an excellent job of providing a moving and stately tribute to an officer who has been killed in the line of duty. These rituals are an important part of healing for everyone, but they are only the beginning of the grieving process that usually takes at least one or two years for those who cared for the officer. Even when the grieving is completed, the world will never be the same without the officer in it. Learning to adjust to this reality is a long-term process.

    It’s important that peers, friends, and family be given the support and help they need to walk through this painful journey. Besides the memorial service, agencies should see that all those affected have access to whatever grief counseling they want.

    The mutual support of friends, peers, and family is important, and one nonprofit organization that facilitates this process is COPS, CONCERNS OF POLICE SURVIVORS, INC. Many of those who have loved and lost a police officer have found solace and comfort through this organization that is devoted to "reaching out to the surviving families of America’s fallen law enforcement heroes.” To find out more about the services offered through COPS and to locate a local chapter in your area, call or write to:

CONCERNS OF POLICE SURVIVORS, INC.
South Highway 5
P.O. Box 3199
Camdenton, MO 65020
Phone: (573)346-4911, Fax: (573) 346-1414

    A deadly force event touches the lives of many people. But all too often, the officer’s family gets lost and forgotten in the hectic hours, days and weeks that follow.

    This should not happen.
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